Allowing someone to protect you doesn’t make you weak. It makes you sensible.
If he hits you once, he’s going to hit you again; no measure of ‘I’m sorry’s’ or ‘I didn’t know what I was doing’s’ will fix that. Once a man takes a conscious step towards crossing the line between treating a woman like a woman and treating her like a punching bag, there is NO coming back. Love does not justify black-eyes and beating. Love does not justify verbal abuse. Love does not justify being treated like a rag. If he engages you in any of the above mentioned manners then HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Once he manages to lay his hand on you once, regardless of the situation, the next time will be all the more easier. With knowledge of this in mind, one must take steps to remove oneself from the situations such as these. A woman does not deserve to be treated like an animal. A woman who allows herself to be treated like an animal simply views herself as one.
It is easy to be swayed by an apology but you should never let an ‘I’m sorry’ fix the situation. If it is in your power, never go back. Physical violence is a breach of trust, a line that, if broken, should require the perpetrators soul to fix. If you accept beatings then you legitimize the fact that you are nothing, and nothing require respect of equal measure: zero.
As guys we love it when you climb the bar and “dance” seductively. It is even more entertaining when the girl on the bar dancing doesn’t know how to dance and all she does is flash her panties, that is if she’s wearing any. It gets all the more interesting though when she slips on melted ice and cracks her head on the concrete (seriously, I’ve seen it happen).
I saw all that to say this: dancing on tables can be really fun, so much so that some guys engage in it. What you must keep in mind though is that you a liable to make an ass of yourself. The bar-top is not the place for a striptease. While, at the moment, the liquor tells you it’s a great idea, heed your common sense because that photographer with the camera will post those pictures somewhere, and when you sober up you might be a little embarrassed – unless that was your intention.
Note: if you engage in this activity on a nightly basis (not as a stripper of course, but as a partygoer), please, for your viewing public …
1. Do more than the two-step
2. Don’t over use the whole grab-your-hair-and-look-sexy thing
3. Work the crowd
4. Don’t always feel obliged to kiss a girl because she is dancing on the bar beside you (its clichéd, we’ve all seen it - a zillion times)
5. If you can’t dance (be honest with yourself) then just keep it simple, anything else will just look stupid.
A guy who thinks he is prettier than you will treat you in exactly that manner
If a stranger buys you drinks at a club, know his intentions. No matter how smooth or clean he tries to play it off, his main goal is to sleep with you. Regardless of whether he approaches you via the friend method, the sleaze-bag method, or the ‘I-have-a lot-of-money’ method – the desired result is always the same. This by no means implies one should stop accepting drinks. It simply means know what you are getting into. It’s always nice to be doted on but always be careful to play your cards right.
Info: please don’t be the girl who falls for the sleaze-bag method. Guys who utilize this don’t care to hide their intentions. They grope at you and whisper lewd things in your ear. They also make your drinks and load them with alcohol, in hopes that you’ll be too drunk to rationalize your actions. They are dirt bags of the highest order with little to no respect for women. If a man respects a woman, regardless of what he wants to do with her, he’ll treat her like a woman, not an hole for his penis.
Its actually rather simple. Every man wants a girl who …
1. Hears him when he speaks
2. Listen to his kind of music, but has the courage to introduce him to something new
3. Laugh at his jokes, even if they are completely and utterly retarded
4. Waits to reason before telling him he is wrong
5. Trusts him first, above all else
6. Doesn’t seek to change him, even if he is utterly a broken mess
Good guys usually have sisters
“In a relationship, a man has two main needs: companionship and yes you’ve guessed it, sex! With regards to sex, it’s more than looks that drives men wild, it’s attitude. He wants a woman to captivate his imagination. Someone confident who wants him as much as he wants her. Someone that will tease him, force him to chase her and yet will also allow him to capture her! He also wants more than anything a soulmate and friend. Someone loving, caring, affectionate and tender who he can talk to and have fun with. He wants someone to love him unconditionally who’s there for him yet also someone who he can be there for!”
This answer summarizes what all men boil down to, what they all want, beneath all the charades, games and mystery. A girl who can provide a man with any of the aformentioned needs will surely get his attention.
Never date the international man of mystery. No matter how appealing, you will always get screwed [and not in the good way]. For men like this a woman is simply a fad, a fancy that will soon pass when he encounters the next one. When this happens, all the love that you thought you had will be lost once he leaves and you realize that it was all one sided.
Guys that fit into this category include:
- The one who has never had a girlfriend
- The one who you yearn to fix
- The one who knows ALL the girls
- The one who never tells you anything
- The one who is afraid of commitment
A guy like this is suave, always knows the right thing to say and knows how to make you feel important like you are the only girl in the room - but he will always keep you waiting; will always take and rarely give; will constantly vary in his emotions towards you; will only show you one side of his life
Dear Young Gentleman,
What are your views on tattoos?
I have written on this before, but feel we can address it again.
Personally I do not like tattoos for me. They would not look good on me. Others though can pull it off and still have them look nice. Certain tattoos will never look good on a gentleman, like anything tribal, chinese characters, mom, hearts, the Ed Hardy logo, etc.
Tattoos should mean something to you and be designed by you or for you for a specific reason. Do not choose a cheetah out of their design book to be placed on your hairy calf so that at 70 the cheetah looks tired and wrinkled.
My advice would be:
- Get it sober
- Get it because you like it
- Place it somewhere that it cannot be seen when you wear shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt. This way you never have to worry about covering it for work.
There is only a problem when you get something tacky like the aforementioned designs or if you talk about it all the time. Get a tattoo and tell your close friends but don’t look for every social situation to slip in the fact that you have a tattoo ergo you are too cool.
-The Young Gentleman
Do you have a tattoo? What is it of?
Marry the man who loves you more than you love him
If you eye a guy in the club that you are interested in but, when he walks over to meet you, act as if you don’t know why he’s there, don’t be surprised if he ends up enjoying the night with someone else.
A club is no place to send mixed signals or play hard to get it – this is by no means meant to encourage ho-trickery.
If you show up at a boy’s house to ‘chill’ and the suns not out, and its past [let’s say…] 12 a.m., then don’t play coy when he eventually asks you to take you pants off.
Plutonic friends don’t show up at each other’s homes late at night just to ‘hang out’, that’s a recipe for
sex disaster. The sheer fact that you agreed to show up that late triggers a thought in the male brain that ‘maybe she’s on the same page’ and ‘I could probably, if I play my cards right, get some tonight’.
If he makes a move on you after you’ve put yourself in this situation, don’t blame him because he simply confused you with a trick or a scaly-wag aka someone who is loose and prone to accepting sexual advances. You can’t blame him because only tricks and scaly-wags show up at the hLome/dorm to ‘chill’ at 12 in the morning.
Moreover, you can’t salvage your dignity or self-respect by dropping those oft used lines, such as:
“I don’t usually do this”
Rrrrrrrrrright – you knew damn well what was gonna go down before you got there, that’s why you came in the first place. But if you must, make him work for it – you’ll feel less cheap that way.